Claire Bidwell Smith on Anxiety & Grief
“If you’re not processing your grief, ... you’re not going to be able to tackle the anxiety, because a lot of the anxiety comes from that. It comes from suppressing grief or not addressing things that are sitting with you. Feelings of guilt, or regret, or not having said goodbye, or just not letting yourself cry or get angry or feel all the things that come with grief. ”
— Claire Bidwell Smith
I had such a great discussion with Claire Bidwell Smith for this episode. Claire is a therapist and is the author of three books on grief, including her most recent, “Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief.” Anxiety is a topic I hear about a lot from widowed parents, either in relation to themselves or their kids, so it was really great to have Claire on the show to discuss this.
Some topics Claire and I discuss include:
How she started having anxiety and panic attacks around the time her mom died, and no one connected it to her grief;
What anxiety is, and what are some symptoms;
Why it’s important to work through your grief in order to tackle your anxiety;
If you’re stifling your grief, it’s likely to manifest in anxiety;
Grief-related anxiety can be present right away or many years out from loss;
Kids who lost a parent often have fear of additional loss;
How guilt and regret contribute to anxiety after loss, and ways to process these feelings;
Sometimes people hold onto the guilt as a way of holding onto the person;
Finding other ways to hold onto the person’s memory so you can let go of the guilt;
Why writing is an important tool for processing grief, and tips for doing this; and
Why telling our story of loss is important.
I hope you enjoy my discussion with Claire Bidwell Smith.
Links & resources for this episode
Claire Bidwell Smith’s web site
Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief, by Claire Bidwell Smith
The Rules of Inheritance: A Memoir, by Claire Bidwell Smith
After This: When Life is Over, Where Do We Go? by Claire Bidwell Smith
Passed and Present: Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive, by Allison Gilbert
Allison Gilbert on the Widowed Parent Podcast - Episode 35
More links for listeners
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