WPP 010: Writer & widowed parent Jeanette Koncikowski on re-partnering after loss

It really is about trusting yourself. Trusting your kids. Absolutely get professional help. Get community around you. Whittle down your life to the most essential components if you can. Insulate yourself in a way that prioritizes your time, prioritizes your healing. I think those are the things that I’ve taken most away from this. Be authentic, be kind to yourself, give yourself a lot of grace.
— Writer & widowed parent Jeanette Koncikowski

I had a great discussion with Jeanette Koncikowski for this episode. Jeanette is a writer and is a widowed parent. She is writing the book she wishes she had when her husband died.

Jeanette and I had a great discussion on a variety of topics:

  • Healing from the traumatic circumstances of her husband’s death;

  • Moving and buying a home on her own 9 months after her husband died;

  • Starting a new relationship after loss, and figuring out how to move forward together;

  • Moving forward with a new relationship while honoring your late spouse;

  • Carving out a role for the step parent that is not replacing the deceased parent;

  • Learning to bear witness to her kids’ pain rather than trying to fix it;

  • Realizing that having more than one kid means more than one kind of kid grief; and

  • Honoring her late husband’s life on his birthday by involving her kids in charity fundraisers.

One more thing – Jeanette is still looking to conduct interviews for her book with a few more widowed dads and widowed LGBTQ parents. If that’s you and you’d like to help, please get in touch with Jeanette.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Jeanette Koncikowski.

Links & resources for this episode

National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN)

NCTSN handout

Invitations to participate in interviews for widowed dads and widowed LGBTQ parents

Where to find Jeanette

email: widowedparentproject@gmail.com

Twitter: @widowedpp

Widowed Parent Project Facebook group

More links for listeners

Take Action Against Cancer - day of service Feb 4 - for cancer widows & families turning grief into action

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